We have more ways than ever to communicate, so why are we losing the art?

Good communication is about getting the right information across in the right order.

I was sitting in an Uber a few weeks ago when the driver raised the topic of communication. ‘Young people just don’t know how  to keep a conversation going,’ he said. ‘They’re losing the art.’ I wondered aloud if it’s because they’re distracted, on their phones. ‘No, it’s more than that. It’s like how people communicate is actually changing.’ 
Now, you don’t just notice this with young people. It’s becoming an epidemic in businesses. I find it ironic that in an age where we have more channels than ever to communicate, people and brands struggle to do it well. Often in business, soft skills are viewed one-dimensionally — as just about the words you say. The art of smart communication requires a lot more. 
Conversations make the world go round. It’s how we share knowledge and experiences. How great ideas are spread. How we engage and motivate teams. 

20 ways to improve communication at work and build emotional connection

Content: think about what you want to say.

1. Good communication is about getting the right information across in the right order.Sounds obvious, but if you speak before you think, you’ll probably come across as vague and waffly. The natural order of things is to think first before you speak. Unfortunately, few politicians have heard of this advice.

2. Think about your audience.If you’re talking to a peer about a project you’re both steeped in, it’s okay to use acronyms or shorthand. But if you’re speaking to an external stakeholder, you’ll need more explanation. Don’t assume the other person has the same level of knowledge as you.

3. Business jargon is a no, no.Some of the best communicators of our generation, like Tony Fadell, father of the iPod, breaks down his crazy, amazing, and highly specialised wisdom into bite-sized pieces that we can all understand.

4. If it’s an important conversation, take time to map it out — on paper or in your head.Practise with a trusted colleague or coach. Visualise yourself having the conversation before you actually do so.
Hour-glass communication 

5. The more specialised you are in a subject, the more you’re likely to communicate poorly to people who don’t share that specialisation.This extends point 3 above. One way around this is to always think of your context first, the scene setting, before you dip into the detail. Then choose 2/3 salient examples to illustrate your points, before then going broad again at the end. This way of communicating looks like an hour-glass — you start wide and broad, explain the bigger picture, then go specific — before widening out at the end.

Harness the power of stories

6. Stories can be an excellent way to explain a topic that is difficult to understand, or that requires ‘bringing to life.’ Finance legend, Kathy Murphy, President, Fidelity Personal Investing, is a pro at this. She’s  known for sharing her own stories and experiences to educate people about investments and personal finances. This makes her relatable. Richard Branson does so, too.

7. Our brain loves facts but they can be overwhelming. Facts and figures engage a small area of the brain but stories and metaphors have a way of engaging multiple brain regions that not only stimulate logic but elicit emotional responses. Facts provide a hook for the brain but our colourful word choice is what maintains attention.

8. Structure your stories in such a way so they trigger multi-sensory cortices: motor, visual, olfactory, auditory, etc.Engage the senses by describing how the ‘strong aroma of coffee lifts the spirits’ or how the ‘cool rain on my skin brings back teenage memories.’

9. The best communicators know this template by heart: the template of human drama and the triumph of the indomitable spirit:It starts with facing challenges, overcoming adversity and immortalising the lesson. Make your stories memorable by using this template. Award-winning Kenyan-Mexican actress, Lupita Nyong’o, uses intentional transitions to reveal her own hopes and emotions in order to inspire people.

 

Better delivery: ensure your message cuts through the noise 

10. Good communication requires a whole-brain approach.Great communication requires the heart as well as the head.

11. It’s important to realise that what people don’t say is as important as what they do say.Be aware of the silences, not just the words.

12. According to communication expert, Judy Apps, author of the lyrical, thought-provoking The Art of Communication,our brains have a huge impact on how well we communicate.While the left-brain focuses on words and arguments, and is directed towards an outcome, most elements of communication are right-brain related: meaning, inference, intention, context, tone, facial expression, gesture, humour, irony and metaphor. You need to be aware of both elements.

13. When you communicate succinctly, think about the how — not only the what.Consider body language, gestures, eye contact and facial connection. Avoid negative body language like crossing your arms, keeping your head down, or averting your eyes.

14. Watch for a mismatch between what you’re saying and your body language, people pick up on that. There’s a non-verbal aspect of communicating called subtle non-verbal responses: this is being aware of what else is going on.

15. If you nod ‘yes’ while saying ‘no’ people will think you’re not completely telling the truth. An example of this is the aptly termed ‘duping delight’. It’s when a liar says he didn’t do it but smiles at an inappropriate moment.

16. Dr John Lund, author ofHow to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing With Toxic and Difficult to Love Personalities(now that’s a mouthful!) says people take more cues from what you’re NOT saying versus what you are saying. He goes on:

  • 92 per cent of communication is non-verbal
  • 55 per cent  is based on your facial expressions and your body language
  • 37 per cent  is based on the tone of your voice
  • only 8 per cent is based on the words you say.

17. Think about the place you hold an important conversation.Avoid being somewhere noisy or at the coffee machine. This lets your listener/s know that he/she is important enough to have your undivided attention.

18. Be assertive.This is not about being hostile or contentious. But expressing your feelings confidently, honestly, and openly while being respectful of others. Effective communication isn’t about forcing your opinion on others but trying to understand the other person.

19. Keep stress in check.Speak calmly and strategically, with pauses to collect your thoughts.

20. Your breathing is also part of the way  you communicate. Breathe at a steady pace.

So wherever you are, in an Uber, in a lift, practise some of these skills. Hopefully, you’ll become more equipped to be a better communicator — a skill we’ll all need as we navigate new channels, and move rapidly into voice-first technology. Bring back the art of better conversation. Everyone has a story to tell.

So, will you tell it?

How to Deliver a Kickass Presentation and Live to Tell the Tale

Your presentation doesn’t start when you get on stage. Rather, it starts days, weeks, even months, before. The best presenters will spend hours practising in front of the mirror or to people they trust.

Last week, I delivered a presentation to 100 senior leaders. I always start with a connection story to build rapport with the audience and to reveal something about myself. But finding the right connection story takes time. I’ll usually come up with two or three ideas until I find the one that pops. 

I also have a secret weapon: my wonderful story buddy, Sonya. No, Sonya isn’t a bot. She’s a real person! We help each other hone our stories, test our beginnings and endings, make sure each story has a solid point. 

Four years ago, I would have had a sleepless night before such a presentation but with time and practise, I’m getting more comfortable in front of a business audience. Each time I focus on something different and this time it was to give the group an experience of connection – fast.

When I started, the energy seemed a little flat. Stories can shift that. So, at the last minute, I changed the start of my presentation and after my connection story, I showed a short video, and then asked people to share stories. First in pairs, then in plenary. 

Immediately, people started to engage. To connect. To laugh. Spontaneity helps here. The more spontaneous I can be, the more people respond ‘in the moment’.

At the end of the presentation, I left energised and the room was buzzing. For me, that’s the sign of success — when I connect with the audience and between us, we co-create something new, and this magical feedback loop happens between people. Then everyone’s spirits rise.

So this week it’s all about what you can do to make your presentations crackle, snap and pop.      

Prepare for Success

Your presentation doesn’t start when you get on stage. Rather, it starts days, weeks, even months, before. The best presenters will spend hours practising in front of the mirror or to people they trust.

  • Take time to plan out your presentation.Rather than start with the slides, think about the overall message you are making. What is the one point you want the audience to know? How do you want them to feel when they leave? Work backwards from there.
  • If you’re using slides, don’t cram them with numbers and words.TED Talks will often have only 40 words over 15-20 slides. Yup, you read that right. Each slide only contains one point, sometimes one word, with a photo. 
  • Recognise that presentations take time. Apple spent 250 hours for one 20-minute presentation, from the presentation design, to the technical expertise, to the execs delivering the final presentation.   
  • Think about your beginning.I always encourage people to use a connection story at the start. You want to link the point of this story to the overall presentation so there’s alignment. 
  • Our brains are more active when we hear stories.A powerpoint slide filled with bullet points and text activates only the language-processing centre of the brain, but stories use the whole brain and activate language, sensory, visual and motor areas. 
  • Beforehand video yourself on your smartphone.It’s excruciating but you’ll soon see how you can improve.
  • Time your presentation to ensure you don’t run over.  
  • If it’s a major presentation, practise in front of a colleague or friends.Here are a few good questions to ask them at the end:
    • Do I sound conversational? 
    • Is there enough variety in my tone and pacing?
    • How are the visuals? Do they help or are they distracting?
    • Do I have any annoying traits, like clicking my tongue, swallowing too often, moving side to side, etc.?
    • Any moments where you got bored?

Practise, practise, practise!

Own your audience

There’s no real one-size-fits-all solution to becoming a seasoned presenter, but these tried and tested techniques can ensure that you claim your audience’s attention. 

Let’s count the ways:

  1. Deliver a dose of drama.Your first words could make or break your presentation, so make them as compelling as possible. A little drama never hurts and is a great way to capture attention.
  2. Start right where they are.This ensures that you and your audience are on the same page and they engage straight away.
  3. Spark curiosity.Ask a provocative question or introduce a concept that would create a ‘knowledge gap’ for the audience. It’s your job to fill this gap.
  4. Use visuals.Make your powerpoint zing with a compelling video — this gives you a break from talking and brings in other voices. Also, surprise people with a prop or artefact linked to the presentation.
  5. Tease.Keep the audience interested with a well-placed tease. Indicate where you’re going with the talk without giving too much away.
  6. Introduce concepts one by one.Don’t just dump everything in their laps.
  7. Use metaphors. A timely and appropriate metaphor makes your points digestible and relatable. They’re also remembered better because they connect emotion with logic.

The Big Day

Finally, the day of your presentation is upon you. You’ve got your talk or keynote ready and you’ve rehearsed as much as you can. 

Here are some things to ensure you own that stage:

  • Familiarise yourself with the venue. As well as the technology and the lighting.
  • Check the microphone if you’re using one.Avoid wearing clunky jewellery that could cause unnecessary noise. If you’re using a wireless microphone box, wearing a belt is a great idea.
  • Keep a bottle of water close by.Also keep a copy of your speech or cue cards close as a backup plan.
  • Feel your feet on the ground. Stay grounded.
  • Smile.When you walk on stage, take a moment to smile and make eye contact — at someone you know, or at the audience in general. 
  • Make it like a conversation.When you begin your presentation, imagine you’re having a conversation with a friend.
  • Be mindful of your voice. That’s to say, your pitch, volume, and pace.
  • Be conscious of your breathing and posture.Remember that your body language should be consistent with your message.
  • If you’re moving around the stage, do so with purpose. 
  • If you stumble or forget your words, turn to your backup plan.Apologise and even make a joke. Audiences are usually forgiving. 
  • Keep going. Use your slides or visuals as a guide to keeping you on track.
  • Most importantly, enjoy it!You’ve worked so hard to get to this point. Remember that you’re on stage doing this presentation because you know your stuff. This is your time to shine. 

Any other great tips, let me know. I’m the forever beginner, always learning.